An entry from Bach III

I wrote this today at a park in San Diego vaguely similar to a park near here I once visited on Easter Break. I am, however, in much better spirits than I was then. Anyway, without further preamble, I'll let Bach speak for himself.

*This message has been altered from it's original handwritten version to suit the audience and the forum*

2: I am not at home.
3: I have a home.
4: My family, in Dresden's sense of the word, tarries but a short while, and then scatters to the winds.
5: I ship out in March.
Query: What duty do I owe my biological family?
6: When I act, it will not be out of desperation. I'm not running. I chose, and don't regret this life I chose for me.
7: Even though it almost destroyed me, I was never happier than I was at home.
8: I could help.
9: I'm 19 damn years old, and able to make my own calls.
10: They are worth it.
11: I'm not my own.
12: I gave my parents' 9 months they wouldn't have had
13: I would spend my last civilian months in peace
14: I know where peace is

In short, I am lonely, and fire-forged friends reside here. This is a limited time offer, as they are graduating and getting married, and in six months I belong to the Navy. My biological family has no real need of me here. There are people, friends, I could help by moving down. (Would you sacrifice your reputation for your friends? [Dr R. was totally talking about this sort of situation]) The choice is mine, and mine alone, as are the consequences. If Mom and Dad can't accept this, then so be it. They will see it as friends versus family, and self-gratification versus duty. But I would be leaving soon anyway. Should it worry me? It doesn't really, not in the sense it should. 'To thine own self be true.' Follow your heart. 'Maybe there isn't a right choice, C.. It could be that you just have to make a choice and live with it.' 'A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Don't plan the plan if you can't follow through.' If Dr. Horrible, Shakespeare, and RB all point me this way, can it be wrong?

I stand now on the edge of what I am sure will be the biggest confrontation between my parents and I. But have I not oft thought I could face the world if I had a few faithful friends? I have found those friends. Let us try my metal. To Live. That will be an awefully big adventure. Lets dance, you and I.

Today's been pretty interesting, in case you hadn't noticed. Mostly it's just being pretty tired and not being able to escape at all. Vacations with the family mean spending basically every waking moment together, which is just to much, IMO. I'm ready to head back, where work got me out of the house. But I wont have that for long now, I guess. My scheme, involving several international banks, several barrels of gunpowder, and my favorite ski mask, will get me back home pretty quick like. That is good. What isn't so good is my parents' forecast response, which is cloudy with a huge chance of lightening. Life is a storm, my friend. It's much less than ideal, but I think it's necessary, at least for my "sanity". Maybe I'm just super pessimistic. Who knows. We'll find out. And I'll be home.

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

[SaD]Fool